even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
