Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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