I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
