I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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