hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
