Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
