went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
