is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
