i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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