I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
