remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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