You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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