i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize