would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i drank out of a bidet.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
