discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
