so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
