Me too!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
