I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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