Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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