forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
