guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
