I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
