DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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