So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
