someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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