he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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