She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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