She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize