yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
