you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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