Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
