from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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