i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
