I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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