I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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