So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize