If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
