Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
