what day is it and did you see me today?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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