forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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