and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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