Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
