At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
