so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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