ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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