Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize