Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
