I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
