My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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