Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
