I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
