yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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