I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
