Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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