..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize