Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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