i just google imaged poop.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
