He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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