My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
