worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
