it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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