You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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