I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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