areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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