I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize