Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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