is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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