Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize