was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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