we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
