honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
