i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We left an ass print on the piano.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize