Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
