I am puke
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
