omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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