Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
